It's finally happened! I am officially a teacher. Today one of my third grade boys gave me an apple. The dream has become reality.
Along the street, we ride our bikes on everyday on our way to town, is a closed down preschool building. I can't help thinking that it would be a great place for an after school program. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. The thought scares me it is too much of a long commitment plan. I really don't know if i want to stay here forever or not. Is anyone else interested in starting an English after school program in Taiwan?
Friday, November 6, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Why is it that I'm tired all day and wide awake at night?
Two things I've been "pondering" (as my dear father likes to say) over and over in my head. One:What was this place like before we came. Two, how can I describe how terribly disgusting salted plum juice is.
Naomi and I talked to Baba today about how things were before we came and how we ended up living about his car repair shop. Apparently, before he volunteered to take us, nobody wanted us. We were unwanted and we didn't even know it!!!I guess people were really nervous about what to do with "foreigners." It wasn't until we got here and people thought we were "beautiful" and "funny" that they decided they wanted us to come stay with them...But they were TOO LATE!
Last June I went to town with some of my students and we all bought drinks at a drink stand. They didn't have passion fruit green tea, so my students ordered for me. Plum juice. They even payed for it. Plum juice. I took one sip and a shudder ran down my spine. Salty, sweet and warm...It quickly reminded me of vomit. I drank half of it so that my students wouldn't know I hated it. It was so sweet of them to buy it for me. I got to a point where I couldn't drink anymore. It was painful to say the least. So I put a hole in the bottom of the cup and it spilled out while we were walking. Finally one of my students realized it was leaking, so I "had to" throw it away.
Naomi and I talked to Baba today about how things were before we came and how we ended up living about his car repair shop. Apparently, before he volunteered to take us, nobody wanted us. We were unwanted and we didn't even know it!!!I guess people were really nervous about what to do with "foreigners." It wasn't until we got here and people thought we were "beautiful" and "funny" that they decided they wanted us to come stay with them...But they were TOO LATE!
Last June I went to town with some of my students and we all bought drinks at a drink stand. They didn't have passion fruit green tea, so my students ordered for me. Plum juice. They even payed for it. Plum juice. I took one sip and a shudder ran down my spine. Salty, sweet and warm...It quickly reminded me of vomit. I drank half of it so that my students wouldn't know I hated it. It was so sweet of them to buy it for me. I got to a point where I couldn't drink anymore. It was painful to say the least. So I put a hole in the bottom of the cup and it spilled out while we were walking. Finally one of my students realized it was leaking, so I "had to" throw it away.
Forever starts today
I am going to write a gushy blog post about what it feels to be loved.
Sometimes I feel so fed up with life. Each person wears so many hats for so many different people. We try to be what each person needs us to be whether it's someone to teach them, someone to listen to them, someone to laugh with them them or merely someone to hug them. At times it's hard to know which hat to wear with what person. It's mind boggling trying to figure out what people need so I can help them. There are times when I just want to quit. I want to stop caring about what other people need or want me to be. I just want to crawl into my own little hole and not have to care about anyone or their problems. Sometimes I do succumb to it and quickly fall further into a sort of depression. I really don't think a person was made to carry their own burdens, the more they look at their own issues the more depressed and frustrated they become, or at least I do. In moments like these I get so caught up in myself that I'm not worth much. Yet, I don't serve a God who gives up on me. Instead of condemning me He reassures me. Yesterday, He used a 2nd grade girl saying "I love you" in broken English to brighten my day. Today, He allowed me to run into my students from last year. I got to talk to one or two of them and I said hello and hugged them. I didn't have time to chat so I said, "Goodbye, long time no see." and one of my girls said "Long time no see and long time miss you." Then she turned her head away I think she was a little choked up to see me. I'm ganna say it's because she loves me and she didn't know I was coming back =D
"OH GOD! is there anything more wonderful in the whole world than being loved back?! Isn't that what You did when you came to earth? You loved us and loved us and kept loving us whatever our response. Whether we loved you back or not you kept loving us. Joy knows now bounds when that love is returned"
I warned you that it would be mushy. I love my students here and I love the children and the people God gave me and no matter what I have to give I'm going to keep loving them. Why? Because it's the moments like these that make it all worthwhile.
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ;" Ephesians 1:3...
P.S.
Today I bought an ugly purse. I don't know why. I thought I loved it when I first saw it. It was on sale so I bought it and left the store within minutes of coming in. Now I hate it. Such is life.
Sometimes I feel so fed up with life. Each person wears so many hats for so many different people. We try to be what each person needs us to be whether it's someone to teach them, someone to listen to them, someone to laugh with them them or merely someone to hug them. At times it's hard to know which hat to wear with what person. It's mind boggling trying to figure out what people need so I can help them. There are times when I just want to quit. I want to stop caring about what other people need or want me to be. I just want to crawl into my own little hole and not have to care about anyone or their problems. Sometimes I do succumb to it and quickly fall further into a sort of depression. I really don't think a person was made to carry their own burdens, the more they look at their own issues the more depressed and frustrated they become, or at least I do. In moments like these I get so caught up in myself that I'm not worth much. Yet, I don't serve a God who gives up on me. Instead of condemning me He reassures me. Yesterday, He used a 2nd grade girl saying "I love you" in broken English to brighten my day. Today, He allowed me to run into my students from last year. I got to talk to one or two of them and I said hello and hugged them. I didn't have time to chat so I said, "Goodbye, long time no see." and one of my girls said "Long time no see and long time miss you." Then she turned her head away I think she was a little choked up to see me. I'm ganna say it's because she loves me and she didn't know I was coming back =D
"OH GOD! is there anything more wonderful in the whole world than being loved back?! Isn't that what You did when you came to earth? You loved us and loved us and kept loving us whatever our response. Whether we loved you back or not you kept loving us. Joy knows now bounds when that love is returned"
I warned you that it would be mushy. I love my students here and I love the children and the people God gave me and no matter what I have to give I'm going to keep loving them. Why? Because it's the moments like these that make it all worthwhile.
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ;" Ephesians 1:3...
P.S.
Today I bought an ugly purse. I don't know why. I thought I loved it when I first saw it. It was on sale so I bought it and left the store within minutes of coming in. Now I hate it. Such is life.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
A few thoughts for the day
You can't choose who will love you, but you do have a responsibility to the people who love you. It's almost like a debt of gratitude.
When you lose your sense of purpose find it in what you invest in the people around you.
Not all wisdom comes in sets of three (I only had two points =) )
When you lose your sense of purpose find it in what you invest in the people around you.
Not all wisdom comes in sets of three (I only had two points =) )
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