Thursday, April 8, 2010

How would you feel?

So, I come to Taiwan as a sort of missionary/English teacher. This totally doesn't make me a saint. I'm really annoyed right now, because the principal of our school wants a cameraman to come into our house tomorrow and film us eating lunch with a couple of key families from the school. I say "why? I'm not that special, I'm just an American". Why should I have to be on TV? I feel enough like a freak already, because I'm an American and I can't go outside without attracting comment. Why add this to that? I guess the principal thinks it will help the school recruit more students for the next semester. I don't want to be a tool. Everyone thinks I should be honored to do an interview and be on T.V, but this whole thing has my stomach in knots. I don't like this sort of attention at all. I hate that I have to do the things I normally do, not because I love the kids who will be at my house, but because a cameraman and the principal and everyone expects me too. What if they make me "show off" my Chinese? I never feel comfortable speaking Chinese around anyone but little children and some nice women...My throat constricts and I feel miserable whenever the principal or another adult asks me to speak to them. How in the world will I be to say something to a camera?Anyways I'm nervous and I feel exploited and I'm having a hard time not being angry at everyone who is forcing me into this.

and I should add that I'm feeling more than a little guilty about being so upset about this instead of just sucking it up and doing what people want me to do.

3 comments:

  1. Hmmm...I'm not sure I should comment on this as you're probly thinking I'm one of the "everyone who is forcing me into this". :-P I'm also trying to decide if I should just be miserable with you, or try to look at the bight side...ok, so it's true. We ARE being exploited...with not even any compensation. I say we at least get some money for putting our white faces on TV! (you know the Kallberg mind, it's ok as long as you get enough money for it...or at least money softens the blow)
    Maybe we can "accicentally" break his camera when he comes, or smear pie on it...or something. Or we can wear brown paper bags on our heads.
    I'll keep thinking about it.

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  2. I suggest the little white germ-proof masks. They won't ask you to remove them, you won't have to worry about chewing with your mouth open and all mistakes in chinese will be put down to the mask muffling you. :)

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  3. The masks will let you hide, and will make the TV station look dumb for trying to interview people who are sick!

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