How would you feel?

So, I come to Taiwan as a sort of missionary/English teacher. This totally doesn't make me a saint. I'm really annoyed right now, because the principal of our school wants a cameraman to come into our house tomorrow and film us eating lunch with a couple of key families from the school. I say "why? I'm not that special, I'm just an American". Why should I have to be on TV? I feel enough like a freak already, because I'm an American and I can't go outside without attracting comment. Why add this to that? I guess the principal thinks it will help the school recruit more students for the next semester. I don't want to be a tool. Everyone thinks I should be honored to do an interview and be on T.V, but this whole thing has my stomach in knots. I don't like this sort of attention at all. I hate that I have to do the things I normally do, not because I love the kids who will be at my house, but because a cameraman and the principal and everyone expects me too. What if they make me "show off" my Chinese? I never feel comfortable speaking Chinese around anyone but little children and some nice women...My throat constricts and I feel miserable whenever the principal or another adult asks me to speak to them. How in the world will I be to say something to a camera?Anyways I'm nervous and I feel exploited and I'm having a hard time not being angry at everyone who is forcing me into this.

and I should add that I'm feeling more than a little guilty about being so upset about this instead of just sucking it up and doing what people want me to do.

Americans are fat because they only eat hamburgers

It is a commonly believed here that Americans are fat and that they eat hamburgers everyday. Thus the reasoning is that if Americans eat hamburgers and Americans are fat then hamburgers must make you fat. It's hard to convince anyone that hamburgers aren't any more fattening then some of their heavily fried foods or to convince them that Americans eat many different types of food. Then the other day I was reading a story from my students' lesson book and this is what I found.

Are They Healthy?

This is Sally. She likes vegetables. She has vegitables everyday. She doesn't like soda or hamburgers. Sally is very healthy. (then they had a picture of a thin girl)
This is Tom. He doesn't like vegetables. He has hamburgers, fries and soda every day. Is Tom healthy? (then they had a picture of a really fat boy)

Doesn't it sound like a stereotype? No wonder it's so hard to convince people otherwise. They're trained to believe hamburgers are the reason for people being fat. One of the teachers even told me that in America you can see a fat man eating hamburgers around ever corner. I honestly think he's gotten it all wrong. It's fat men eating twinkies and donuts on every corner. ;)

awkward

so, I haven't written in a while, because I honestly can't think of anything of interest to say. But then yesterday I woke up with a zit on my forehead. I was annoyed with it so I wore my hair in such a way as to cover it. I felt it was okay and then I promptly forgot about it. That is, I forgot about it until one of the teachers asked me what happened to my forehead. There was a rather long moment of awkward silence after I answered that question. =(

Okay, so in every culture there are certain things you just don't do or say. In Taiwan we have to avoid words like "sigh," "gun," or "cow," because they sound like Taiwanese swear words (keep that thought in mind). I have a little boy in my 3rd grade class who likes to call me different animal names. We've made a war of this and we always call each other different animal names, but we always say it in a somewhat insulting way. Today, he called me a "horse" so I straight away followed it with ... "COW!" My poor little kid's eyes got really big as he couldn't believe his character English teacher was swearing at him in Taiwanese. =( I quickly realized my error and called him a "duck!" Fortunately, kids are quick to forgive and so we moved on with our little, dangerous name calling game.

Homesickness: it comes for each of us

After a month of having my brother and sister with me, I find that it isn't any easier to see them leave. I enjoyed having them here so much. I had forgotten how homesick I was until I had such a big piece of home with me. I can't really explain why it is that I feel so much more complete when they are here. Suddenly, I make sense. I had never realized how weird and how special my family was until I was by myself and somewhat hard to explain or understand. Then suddenly there are three of me here and we're all similar in certain respects and it makes sense, I make sense. It's really great to be understood by the people around you. It's really great not to feel like an oddness. For a little while, I was the majority. It I was Keller Rule. I can't say how awesome it is to relax into the background and to just watch my brother and sister interact with the other people I love. I got to watch them and see how they show Christ's love to everyone around them...I was so happy and so proud of them. I guess being so happy wasn't the best preparation for them leaving me. Now, all I really want is to be with my whole family and to never have anyone leave me again.

The odd people in my life.

I was so excited about my brother and sister coming to Taiwan that I couldn't help telling my students about them and when I told them my brother's nose was even taller than mine, the little nasties gasped. They gasped.

Also I got an e-mail from my mom. They are driving all the way down to LA to get passports done so Sarah and Johnny can come to Taiwan. They're supposed to fly out January 23rd. Good luck, my crazy family. =)

and today my classes were insane. It seems that the more tired I am the more determined they are to harrass me. At one point after class I had three kids sticking stickers on my face, one kid wearing my hat, two kids stealing my puzzle, the other had my book bag and they were all yelling "Teacher, give me." So I told them if they wouldn't give my stuff back I'd kiss them. one of my good kids translated for me and instead of dispursing and running in fear one of my boys turned it on me and said "Okay, kiss me." ....I ran

Finally, some Chinese I can use

I've told you about one of my Chinese teachers, the one who mostly teaches me how to talk to animals. But I have another teacher two. She is 25 and is so fun. In my last lesson with her she taught me what to say to guys who ask me "Where are you going?" or "Where do you want to go?"If you like the guy you say "I want to go in your heart." This seems like a very useful phrase, no? My only problem is that the words "go to" and "eat" in Chinese sound very similar to me and I usually end up saying "I want to eat your heart."
But I've been practicing the phrase and hoping for an opportunity to say it. It would totally shock someone because it's something usually only Taiwanese people know about. So I was riding my bike to meet Naomi at a beauty salon and this guy in a car yelled across to me "Where are you going?" I smiled and then said...




absolutely nothing (What can I say? I'm a chicken ;) )

Was it wise of me to toast to "adventures in 2010"???

This is what happened...
Since the new year I have...
helped at an orphanage
worn ooberly long, bright blue pants under my skirts
tripped down the stairs at school, because of my oober long blue pants
found ten grey hairs on my head
chased a bag of cotton candy down the street in front of witnesses
won 13 out of 15 games of connect four
gotten incredibly angry at someone for their emoticons on Skype
ruined a bowl of ice cream by adding nutella to it
and
stayed in bed all morning pretending my floor was made of lava and my bed was lava proof